Have you ever been here? A place where you know you shouldn’t be. It is a place where you really don’t want to be but yet, you can’t seem to let it go because it has been a part of you for way too long. Familiarity doesn’t mean good or right - just familiar.
This has been my place for the last few weeks. I am not proud that I have journeyed here and have chosen to remain.
I know better.
I want better.
My choices, my selfish and arrogant choices, however, indicated otherwise. I have been camping out in my own bitterness. Ignoring the promptings on my heart and instead, feasting on more selfish and bitter root.
God beckons with more urgency and greater intensity. He will not be ignored.
My heart softens and then is broken. He has that power to shatter the concrete shell of bitter discontent and reveal the beating flesh within.
I can no longer ignore His promptings. They are too deafening to disregard. I must respond by leaving this place. Leave it all behind. Nothing that I brought should travel on.
I will admit I find it difficult to leave it all behind. Much of it has kept close comfort. Most has reasoned my bitterness. Without it, I journey on naked and vulnerable.
Yet, I know. It is all or nothing. Leave it all behind or look at nothing different for the destination ahead. A place of forgiveness, I pray.
Where this path will end, I do not know. Its finish is now in the hands of another.
Peace comes in the obedience. I pray for restoration in the destination.
Denise,
ReplyDeleteRestoration and peace come when we transfer our expectations of acceptance and approval from someone incapable of giving it to the only One who will always give it. Fill yourself up with His love for you, His forgiveness toward you and His uncondtional acceptance of you, because of your faith in Jesus, and the power to live in a new, unfamiliar place of peace will overflow from you without effort on your part. The power of His grace is amazing!
I am praying for you today!
Christy
Restoration in the destination...absolutely spellbound.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes. I have been there, Denise. And I understand when you say it is comfort in a way. But we know the truth, don't we? I'll be praying for you as you heed His call to leave that bitterness behind.
ReplyDeleteluv,
laura
Denise,
ReplyDeleteyou know i think your writing is beautiful this is no exception. i, myself, have been tempted to go off on a similar path this week. i'm choosing no but still feel like i got kicked in the gut. praying for you to find your way on the narrow path that few choose. know you're not alone.
i'm praying restoration in your destination too, my friend.
Thank you for stopping by my blog. Your comments, just like your post is so beautifully written and from the heart. I too have been there more than once in search for restoration. I will be praying for you today.
ReplyDeleteNaked and vulnerable and stripped bare is the posture behind a "sacred" dressing. I've been there so many times, and when I finally reach some purposeful conclusion about my intentional stripping, Peace soon arrives on the soil of my heart.
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone, Denise. I feel as if some "stripping" is headed my way. At least I know a bit better what God is after this time.
peace~elaine