Have you ever been here? A place where you know you shouldn’t be. It is a place where you really don’t want to be but yet, you can’t seem to let it go because it has been a part of you for way too long.
Familiarity doesn’t mean good or right - just familiar.
This has been my place for the last few weeks. I am not proud that I have journeyed here and have chosen to remain.
I know better.
I want better.
My choices, my selfish and arrogant choices, however, indicated otherwise. I have been camping out in my own bitterness. Ignoring the promptings on my heart and instead, feasting on more selfish and bitter root.
God beckons with more urgency and greater intensity. He will not be ignored.
My heart softens and then is broken. He has that power to shatter the concrete shell of bitter discontent and reveal the beating flesh within.
I can no longer ignore His promptings. They are too deafening to disregard. I must respond by leaving this place. Leave it all behind. Nothing that I brought should travel on.
I will admit I find it difficult to leave it all behind. Much of it has kept close comfort. Most has reasoned my bitterness. Without it, I journey on naked and vulnerable.
Yet, I know. It is all or nothing. Leave it all behind or look at nothing different for the destination ahead. A place of forgiveness, I pray.
Where this path will end, I do not know. Its finish is now in the hands of another.
Peace comes in the obedience. I pray for restoration in the destination.