Monday, December 28, 2009

One Thousand Gifts - Counting on

This has been a difficult week. Not the usual for such a festive time of the year but nonetheless, it was ours.

We spent the last few days traveling between to mothers - his and mine. One holding on tightly to this side of heaven and the other dreaming soon she will be there, face to face.

We are just plain tired.

We didn't shop. We didn't wrap. We didn't open. We didn't eat in abundance.
We did spend the holiday with two who have loved us most.
We did give what we could - ourselves - to those who wanted nothing more.

At first I confess, I found it hard to be grateful. It was too easy to moan and complain even if most of those words remained in my head. Sadly, that was selfishness within not the Truth all around.

Yet, here in this exercise I am an unwrapping the gift I needed the most.

A grateful heart focused on the Truth not the circumstance.

6. Doctors, nurses and aides who work seven days a week, 24 hours a day and 365 days a year with compassion and professionalism

7. The love of a mother's heart

8. A memory recalled when most are forgotten

9. A hot cup of coffee on a cold winter morning

10. The sweet and savory aromas of a favorite Italian deli triggering a multitude of memories

11. Safe travel to and from Ohio

Miss not on these opportunities, my friends, to recollect your graces. While your eyes may not always see your favors, in a simple act of remembrance grace abounding will be found.

holy experience

© A Sacred Longing 2009

Monday, December 21, 2009

A Journey of Grace

While it seems most fitting to save "starts" like this to the beginning of a new year, I don't think that this should wait.

I have waited too long.

Could this be why my days long gone have felt like something less?
Could it be why my present day seems jumbled and harried?
Could it be why my days to come seem pressing and formidable?

Simple things unrecognized and often, just plain ignored. In my missed appreciation, much more was lost.

So, this day I join the multitude in giving voice to my thankfulness.

1. A shimmering blanket of white that forced upon us a pause to life.

2. Hope that can be found in silence and prayer. An echo of Light in the gray, dark of life.

3. Beauty that speaks Truth

4. A hot and steamy bowl of chili.

5. A faithful friend waiting for me.

And so it begins.

A testament to the bounty that was and is and will be upon my life.

A record of simple things and yet profound, for in their recollection I am given much.

Like a gift being unwrapped, in the remembrance and then the writing, I am finding the treasure within...perspective.

So with this post I join my gratitude with others and though it may be a day late, it really is not. For it is never too late to be grateful.

To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.
Johannes A. Gaertner

holy experience

© A Sacred Longing 2009

Sunday, December 20, 2009

White is the snow

Well, the sun is shining and we (hubby, really) are shoveling our way out of the house. I am not sure when we will be able to venture on the road. We were pretty close to 2 feet of snow at our house. So, unless it melts or the nice man in the truck with big yellow plow comes down our road we may be stuck here for a day or two. We shall see what happens.
Until then, chili and hot chocolate for everyone!

© A Sacred Longing 2009

Saturday, December 19, 2009

It's beginning to look a lot like a BLIZZARD!

Seriously, isn't the official start of winter yet to come!

Hunkering in for a few days I guess. Photos to come. Right now, 530am we have had about 6 inches since 9pm last night and today the heaviest snow is supposed to fall.

Anyone have a snow blower?

© A Sacred Longing 2009

Monday, December 14, 2009

A Winter's Journey

It seems fitting that the seasons have marched on. For as much as my surroundings have reflected the solemn barrenness of winter, I can’t help but feel its echo in my life.

Of late it has been like looking into a frozen pond and seeing a fragmented reflection. Life has handed some difficult assignments. Frankly, I would rather not have endured any one of them but the choice is not mine to make. It is what it is. Even so, my path is not the most difficult which makes me feel selfish in my misery.

There are those who have lost more and whose suffering will remain even past a season’s change. Theirs is a path I will not tread. I cannot tread. Ours is a solitary journey to make. Yet, in the days to come our two paths will meet and in that moment we will have the opportunity to be to each other what we cannot be to ourselves.

It is for such times that my soul longs for the whisper of faith and embrace of grace. Reassurances that in the midst of the bleakness there is hope. A promise that in the moment when our paths converge I will be prepared to be what is needed - not for me but for her.

While my life at times appears to be wilderness living, I am no John the Baptist. Yet, the song from Zechariah’s lips resonates in my heart.

…you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him. , to give his people knowledge of salvation through forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace.
Luke 1:76-79

My breath hangs heavy in the stark cold air. In its ebb and flow there is a visible reminder life remains. This life, this breath compels me to walk on in faith preparing the way for Him.

© A Sacred Longing 2009

Thursday, December 10, 2009

A brief update...

Well, hello there! I have not abandoned my blog - just one too many life interruptions. I am almost as wiped out as my golden retriever appears.

This will be brief but I hope to be back again in the next few days with some thoughts.

My mother-in-law remains in the hospital in ICU. She seems to be moving toward the right direction with the healing of the infection and surgery. Unfortunately, the last few days have been a bit crazy (literally) with some ICU related confusion. It happens. Hospitalization + ICU + medications + over 70 years = confusion. Last night was a glimmer that the fog is clearing, so we wait some more. The doctors said she would be in the hospital close to 3 weeks. I doubted that initially, not so much now!

My sister-in-law, Robin, got some difficult news. Her doctors and insurance company feel that she needs to move to a lower level of care (i.e. nursing home). They don't think that she will make significant progress quickly enough to warrant a continued stay in the long term acute care hospital. It is frustrating to see the "system" work so poorly. There is so much that needs to be done to let her be as independent as possible but this a process that will take months if not years. As a former acute rehab nurse who worked with spinal cord injured patients, I understand but it doesn't make it easier. 44 years old is WAY TOO YOUNG to be in a nursing home.

Life is fragile friends. It is a lesson that is settling deep within me of late.

More to come soon...thank you for your continued prayers.

© A Sacred Longing 2009