Smallness

It whispers loud within me.  This aching wonder that begs to know if this is it - my life - as it is.   

It doesn't seem right to ask such questions yet now, right now, it echoes like a haunting melody.   

I wonder if Paul would say to me, as he did the Corinthians..."I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life.  We didn't fence you in.  The smallness you feel comes from within you.  Your lives aren't small but you are living them in a small way.”  

Lilliputian living 

Is it wrong to want more?  Is it wrong to feel less? 

No. 

But it is wrong to seek to fill the emptiness with something other than God and His purpose and provision. To do that is like eating cotton candy- yummy in the moment but forgotten fluff in the next. 

The hunger remains. 

It is wrong to hold onto those things long dead.  Things held as tightly as a favorite blanket to a toddler but that do nothing more than bring temporary comfort and hold you tight in its false security. 

The angst still grips. 

And it is no better to stand in the midst of the forest long dead because you are too afraid to venture into the new growth just beyond the dried up limbs. 

The fear holds tight. 

The gift I seek the most is one I have already been given.  It waits unwrapped and opened in its fullness of enough.  

He is everything. 

He is all. 

He is enough. 

And, in Him, so am I.

Enough.

© A Sacred Longing 2009-2012
Joining in with:

Merry Christmas

"Let's get over to Bethlehem as fast as we can and see for ourselves what God has revealed to us." They left, running, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying
in the manger. Seeing was believing.
Luke 2:15-17a The Message

This the morning I have begged to find these last four weeks.

This is the moment when the waiting graces of Advent give birth to the Breath of Heaven.

In the darkness of this waiting world, His star shines brightly.

Trusting to believe and follow this most precious Light.

Seeing is believing.

Seeking to see Him this Christmas Day!

When you don't think you have enough...

Do you ever have those moments when a message keeps coming at you from many different places? 

This past week has been that for me.  Like a bouquet of the same flower that I am gathering one bloom at a time or maybe I should say one fish and loaf at a time.

In John 6:1-13 we have the familiar story of Jesus feeding the five thousand.  Like you, I have read this story many times.   I thought I knew it. 

That is what I get for thinking!

When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, "Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?"  He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.  Philip answered him, "Eight months wages would not buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!"    

John 6:5-7  NIV (emphasis mine)

Philip witnessed Jesus perform miracles prior to this question.  Yet, he didn't respond with the anticipation of what Christ would do but rather with the limitation of what Philip could not do.  He could not buy enough bread. 

Major fail, Philip.

So here it is...

I have the propensity to respond just like Philip.  I measure the task in front of me by based not on what God can do but rather what I cannot. 

In my eyes, the obstacle is daunting.  In God's eyes, it is minutia.

In a sermon this weekend, I heard "It is too easy to allow the magnitude of a task keep you from doing it."  If Philip was right, those people would still be hungry.   And yet, they ate all that they had wanted and even had leftovers!

I have thought too many times like Philip. 

I have evaluated the circumstance in light of what I have - what I can do - what my abilities are.  I have given up and given in too easily because truth be told, I will never have enough.

But God...

He knows what He is going to do.  He doesn't need us but He does want us.  He has placed us where we are at this very moment.  All we need to do is offer what we have and trust that He will transform it.

It wasn't Philip's job to feed the 5000.  It was his responsibility to offer what he had and believe Christ to transform it. 

When I don't have enough words to write...

I need to offer what I have and allow Him to transform it.

When I don't have the strength to complete the task...

I need to offer what I have and allow Him to transform it

When I don't have the courage to step out...

 I need to offer what I have and allow Him to transform it.

When I don't have the faith to believe...

 I need to offer what I have and allow Him to transform it.

I will never have enough.

He always will.



© A Sacred Longing 2009-2011

Five Minute Friday - Whole

I know what I have been and most of that isn’t worth repeating.  Cracked and broken is the sum total of my yesterdays. 

Damaged and flawed is what is easy to be.  It requires little effort.  It demands no faith.   
 
What I have been is not who I am.  Though broken and cracked - in Christ - I am whole and complete.   The former things have passed away and the new has come.
 
Wholeness in Christ requires effort.  Not effort to achieve but rather to believe. 

I know what I have been and now I seek to trust what I am.

Whole.

 

I am joining in with Five Minute Friday over at The Gypsy Mama. Where you write for 5 minutes - no more and no less.  Each week is a new topic and today it was WHOLE.  Check out the link and see what others have written!




© A Sacred Longing 2009-2011

Finding my radical faith...

Has it really been so long since I have written?!

I wish I could say that I was on an exotic adventure but that wouldn't be the truth. Rather, my absence has been more of a tilling of the soul.

This dormancy on my blog has been born out of a seed planted in March. A seed, in truth, that was planted long before March 2010. A seed that found itself trapped in soil that was too hard to allow its birth. My experience in Haiti appears to have provided the crack in the clay of my soul allowing what was sown long ago to sprout and grow.

Sadly, I am not a gardener. My parents were and we enjoyed many fruits of their labors but I have grown little more than basil with any great success.

Gardening is not for the complacent and comfortable. A seed must be planted in soil that has been broken, prepared and cleared. A seed must have the right nutrients and be continually nurtured in order for it to grow. Weeds must be removed. Pests must be kept at bay.

…somewhere along the way we had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable. We were settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves.

excerpt from Radical by David Platt

Somewhere along the way I settled for the comfortable faith. Could I tell you when? No, I fear that the majority of my faith walk has been comfy and contented. For the most part, I did the “right” things and I said the “right” things. Of course, the gauge I was using to measure the “rightness” of my actions was, shall we say, not as accurate as it should have been. Then came this tiny island with an immense disaster.

My “rightness” felt maimed when my feet walked next to tents housing families. My “rightness” fell silent when requests for food echoed in my ears. My “rightness” became wrong in a matter of a mere seven days.

So this is where I have been of late, figuring out how to trade my comfortable life for one that is radically abandoned to Christ. It isn’t an easy process but it is one worth all the sweat and tears.

© A Sacred Longing 2009-2010

A morning walk

Fresh air, warm sun and the slow awakening of the world around me was a moment of grace at the start of my day.  In this very brief moment, I am able to gather in deeply the beauty of life and creation. 

Too soon the day will become busy and distracting.  It was never His intent.  Nor is it His making.  It is mine.  All mine. 

Nonetheless, the Creator's canvas is always before me.  Beauty and grace appear with each stroke of His hand and whisper of His breath.  These moments are never meant to be brief and fleeting.  Rather, with eyes to see and ears to hear I would encounter the unimaginable beauty that surrounds my every breath.  A beauty that should bring me to my knees.

His Spirit beckons me to pause. 

To see.

And hear.

Then be changed.

I am learning to turn from the chaos and seek the calm of the Creator.  To look deeper into the eyes of the one I am talking to.  To listen beyond the words but to the heart.  To wander beyond the obvious into the deep. 

It is a faith walk, my friends.  A simple path to the place where heaven's grace caresses the earth.  Prepare to remove your sandals because we are standing on Holy Ground.

© A Sacred Longing 2009-2010

A Winter's Journey

It seems fitting that the seasons have marched on. For as much as my surroundings have reflected the solemn barrenness of winter, I can’t help but feel its echo in my life.

Of late it has been like looking into a frozen pond and seeing a fragmented reflection. Life has handed some difficult assignments. Frankly, I would rather not have endured any one of them but the choice is not mine to make. It is what it is. Even so, my path is not the most difficult which makes me feel selfish in my misery.

There are those who have lost more and whose suffering will remain even past a season’s change. Theirs is a path I will not tread. I cannot tread. Ours is a solitary journey to make. Yet, in the days to come our two paths will meet and in that moment we will have the opportunity to be to each other what we cannot be to ourselves.

It is for such times that my soul longs for the whisper of faith and embrace of grace. Reassurances that in the midst of the bleakness there is hope. A promise that in the moment when our paths converge I will be prepared to be what is needed - not for me but for her.

While my life at times appears to be wilderness living, I am no John the Baptist. Yet, the song from Zechariah’s lips resonates in my heart.

…you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him. , to give his people knowledge of salvation through forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace.

Luke 1:76-79

My breath hangs heavy in the stark cold air. In its ebb and flow there is a visible reminder life remains. This life, this breath compels me to walk on in faith preparing the way for Him.

© A Sacred Longing 2009

A long and winding road...

I have been on a long road to daybreak.

It seems like I have been walking hard this last year.

I know that there are times in our lives when the journey seems more cumbersome; when the scenery we pass by is sparse and when the steps we take are incredibly lonely.

I know this doesn’t surprise you (those few that venture to this blog) as my writing has reflected a heavy heart and heavier feet.

Even so the path I wander, much like yours, is full of twists and turns. Our foolish hearts and impaired vision would have us believe that the scenery and thus our lives are stagnant and barren.

Don’t believe that lie!

For rooted deep within our spirit is the joy that comes from the Creator Himself, it is there where our faith is fashioned not by the circumstance of life but the love of our God.

Anticipate the future and its changes with joy. There is a seed of God’s love in every event, every circumstance, every unpleasant situation in which you may find yourself.
Barbara Johnson

I am cresting this hill. I know it.

There will be more hills ahead. I know that too.

My prayer is that my heart and my vision will see the seeds of heaven, first and foremost.


On this Thursday, I am thankful for so much….

I am thankful that my husband’s health. The news we received from the doctor was positive and relieving. Our prayers have been answered – no medical intervention is necessary.

I am thankful that my sister-in-law has made it safely to Ohio. She continues to grow stronger. A few days ago she was able to ingest some applesauce and speak a few words with her speech therapist. We continue to pray that she will not be ventilator dependent and rejoice in the hope that continues.

I am thankful that God never wants to leave us where we are.

I am thankful quiet rainy mornings, my bible and my journal. Add a pair of PJ’s and a cup of coffee, heaven on earth, I tell you!

I am thankful for this blogging community. Sweet friends in Christ, who inspire, encourage and sweeten my days. I am grateful for your prayers. I appreciate your visits and enjoy your comments.


Walking a little bit lighter and a lot brighter….



© A Sacred Longing 2009

Faith Walking

Dear Lord, grant me the grace of wonder. Surprise me, amaze me, awe me in every crevice of Your universe…Each day enrapture me with Your marvelous things without number. I do not ask to see the reason for it all; I ask only to share in the wonder of it all.
Abraham Joshua Heschel

I want to be a faith-walker. I want to be one who does not muddle a life journey with the need to know. I want to be one who steps out in faith into the great unknown desiring only to share in the wonder and glory of the God who created it all.

Like Noah, who built an ark when it wasn’t raining.
Like Abraham, who went even though he didn’t know where he was going.
Like David, who as a child killed the giant warrior with a stone and a sling while the armies watched.
Like Esther, who approached the king not knowing if he would receive her or kill her.
Like Isaiah, who saw the Lord seated on His throne; felt his unworthiness and with touch of God’s glory eagerly offered to be sent by the Lord as a prophet.
Like the disciples who left their nets and their lives to follow the One who called to them.
Like Stephen who spoke boldly for the Lord and was stoned for it – in his dying moment he prayed for those who threw the stones.
Like Saul who became Paul after a meeting with Jesus on the road to Damascus. His life was never the same.

A faith walker doesn’t ask why. With faith, there is that unknown factor. If you can see, you can touch it and you know why it is there – do you really need faith?

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1 NIV

I am not a faith walker or at least not one with great consistency. My “why’s” are often like the “why’s” of a toddler, incessant.

Is the need to know really important?

If knowing the why’s doesn’t really change the circumstance then I would say the knowing isn’t important. Faith, however, is essential.

Often, the situation remains unchanged but it is faith that causes a transformation. Not in the circumstance but in the heart.

My “why’s” should be my “why not’s” in Christ.

Why not believe in the God who created my inmost being and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Why not believe in the God who has created and ordained the days before even one came into being.
Why not believe in the God who gave of His very own save me.

Why not trust my yesterday, today and tomorrow to the God who planned for me, created me, saved me, knows me and sustains me.

Faith goes up the stairs that love has made and looks out the window which hope has opened.

Charles H. Spurgeon

I am stepping on and stepping up in faith. Care to join me?

© A Sacred Longing 2009

Welcome Home

Home

That is where we are now. Almost unpacked and settled in.

Often the coming home is much sweeter than the being away - hard to believe and even harder to say.

What not so long ago was the rut and routine has gracefully become the warm and cozy. Within its embrace we are welcomed back to the reality of life.

And, we are glad to be back.

I think that we all need those get away moments. Sabbath breaks in the midst of being. Occasions to release, replenish and return.

Release that which we should never had gripped so tightly.
Replenish what is left empty and wanting.
Return not so much to what was but what should have always been.

Home again.




© A Sacred Longing 2009

Waking up to a glorious sunrise like this, makes me want to stay. However, in the distance, I hear the call to return to life and home.

While what awaits back home is more of the heavy and burdened, I can rest in the joy that the sun will rise again and bring with it new rays of hope, grace and peace.

Sunrises don't just happen at the beach. They grace the mountaintop, the cityscape and the countryside.

I would do well to remember that.

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

© A Sacred Longing 2009

Just a little prayer update: My sister-in-law flew via medivac back to Ohio today. We made it to Wilmington NC to see her on Wednesday. When we arrived she was off the ventilator and doing well. In fact, she was off for almost 4 hours - what wonderful praise! There is much hope that she will not need ventilator support. She still is unable to move her arms or legs but if we can get her off the vent we can start the rehab soon!

Monday my husband will see a new doctor regarding his pulmonary function. Our prayer is that he will not need any invasive medical intervention at this point. Would appreciate continued prayer for him.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Faith in the Weaving

Weave in faith and God will find the thread.

There are those times when in the midst of life we can do no more than move forward in the faith that God is who He says He is.

The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see.

Hebrews 11:1 The Message

In that truth alone, I have been existing in these last few weeks and will continue to press on into the unknown.

My life is on the loom and each moment is like a row being weaved into eternity. It may not look like much now but in time as the weaving progresses and the rows are formed and pressed together, its beauty will begin to be form.

For now, I must trust in the Weaver's vision. In His hands the threads are laid and the purpose is set. In His time the blessing will be seen.

© A Sacred Longing 2009

Praise in the Storm

Yesterday, I do my best at being "real" on the blog.

Baby steps.

Then it happens.

As I tuck myself in for a night's sleep, I am distracted by a horrible headache. Rather than moan all the more, I decided to pick up a Bible on my nightstand and read. Was I in for a treat!

The pages of the Bible fall open. Now, I am not one to automatically think that where the pages fall is where I need to read. However, last night that is EXACTLY what happened and what I needed.

Here I just finished lamenting my inability to wait well and I find myself face to face with "Developing Patience" in BOLD type. Romans chapter 5 is where my Bible fell open and my eyes were drawn to Romans 5:3-5 The Message verson (italics mine).

There is more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we are hemmed in with troubles, because we know that troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience forges the tempered steel of virtue. Keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary, we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours in our lives through the Holy Spirit.

Now, I am one who is better at moaning my laments than shouting my praises. My eeyore-like thinking keeps me rooted on the circumstances and spending too much time looking down.

I need to do a little shouting.

I need to be alert and looking up in expectancy.

I need to be gathering some passionate patience! As I said, it doesn't come naturally but it does come supernaturally - much like I believe this verse did - at this moment - for me.

As I fell asleep, this song came to my mind. Fitting don't you think.





Lord, I will praise you in the midst of this storm. It is still raining but I can hear your whisper and feel the warmth of your breath upon me. Thank you for pouring your mercy and grace upon me. Thank you for your Word that is alive, active and oh, so tangible.

© A Sacred Longing 2009

Done vs Undone

I love this picture of the early morning near the Potomac River.

Calming.

Restful.

Peaceful.

I wish I could transplant myself somewhere into that scene but I can't. So instead, I journey around this bloggy world for some encouragement.

I wasn't disappointed. Of course, stopping by my bloggy friend, Elaine's site is always a pause well spent. Today, was no exception. If you have never visited Peace for the Journey you will be in for a "real" treat. Go there...as soon as you can. Elaine always pens her words with an honesty that speaks volumes. Today, it was just what I needed to hear.

You see, my life has been a bit jumbled of late. A mission trip, a horrendous accident of a family member and now the unknown of health concerns for my hubby.

I am done or at least, nearing being undone. If you have been there you know what I mean.

It is not easy to admit that I am tired.

It is not easy to admit that I am frustrated.

It is not easy to admit that I am not patient in the waiting.

It is not easy to admit that I don't know the answers.

While I know that God hasn't left me; while I know that God gives me the strength to handle life's stressors; while I know that God's timing is perfect; while I know that God can perform miracles -- what I need is to believe. I am echoing the desperate cry of the father in Mark 9, "I believe, help my unbelief."

I am being real here. We still need your prayers.

My sister-in-law has had surgery to stablize her cervical spine. She is a quadriplegic now. During the surgery it was noted that she has had some damage to vocal cords and there is concern that she may not be able to speak ever again. She is still intubated and on a ventilator but the good news is she is breathing strong over it and has shoulder movement. A permanent ventilator may not be needed. So, we wait ...

My hubby on his return trip from NC to be with his sister, received an unexpected call from his physician. Apparently, tests were concerning and warranted further testing. Those have been done and once again we are waiting for test results - could be serious - maybe not - so, we wait...

Since I am being real here, I don't wait well. Patience while a noble virtue, hasn't been a bulwark virtue in my life. It is one I am learning but honestly, don't know if it will ever find its home in me.

So, my friends, this is my life in the here and now.

Thank you for listening!

Thank you for praying!

© A Sacred Longing 2009

Dwelling in the Possibilities

In the midst of the gestures and words of welcoming, I was drawn like a moth to a flame to this littlest one. There in the arms of the one I would soon come to know as his father, was the most precious bundle of cuteness. Large chocolate almond eyes and the chubbiest cheeks I have ever seen melted my heart with each innocent, sweet giggle that passed through his lips.

Knowing what we were offering was not for ones so little, his presence was unexpected. Who was this precious one, I wondered.

Clarity came in the form of his mother. A dear young woman who bore this bundle of sweetness not more than 4 months ago – she needed what we were offering. Pain and dysfunction care not of age or circumstance. She knew that all too well. She lived it daily. She survived it moment to moment because she had no other options – until today.

As chaos and need overwhelmed us all, her voice was heard.

In that moment, her want united with our offering. Soon, upon a simple operating room table, a sacred communion of faith and grace was celebrated. With the last suture closed, a future and a hope were restored.

This young mother and I met in a moment of possibility. Together with a few hesistant steps we began a path toward potential. While my efforts were minimal, I continue to pray that her results are phenomenal.

Through a tearful goodbye, we promised each other much the same...she would think of us when she was chasing that bundle of cuteness around the home and I would envision her doing that very same thing...at those moments we would pray for the other.

Humbled by grace.
United in faith.

Love was made visible in that hospital in Ecuador.

May we all continue to dwell in the possibilities that began there!



© A Sacred Longing 2009

A Holy Transformation

In the quietness of this morning, I have had time to consider how this life's journey for me must change. Fearful, though I am, that the prospect of this reworking will be temporary at best, I endeavor forward. I struggle for boldness and strength. I am all too familiar, that on my own, I have none. In Christ, however, I am learning I have it all.

I plead for courage, a fearless audacity to live in the boldness of Him who I confess as Savior and Lord. I implore for a holy moxie to strengthen the timidity of my own endeavors. Without it I will fail but with it, the transformation that I seek will be a lasting one. Its success or failure lies in the surrender of my will for His.

It will be a daily, if not a moment by moment, chore to abdicate my throne for His. Every thought, every word and every deed will need to be scrutinized to be found worthy of a wanderer of Christ. Sacred pauses in my day will be necessary to confirm the course of my pilgrimage. These holy interludes will be required to verify my bearings and rework my steps as I persevere on this journey to a holy transformation. Necessary and required they are but not easily found, I am sure, at least not in the beginning of this pilgrimage. It will have to be a determined pursuit on my part to seek these pivotal pauses.

So, I prepare.

It's the transformation I anticipate.

Christ in me is what I desire.

© A Sacred Longing 2009

A Good 'Ole Country Boy

It was a hot summer day, the sticky kind of hot that smothers your skin and zaps the energy right out of you. Days like these you would have found me in the shade of the front porch watching the cars drive by sipping on the biggest glass of sweet tea around. That was the type of summer work that I liked to engage in but not so for my dad. He knew it was the growing time. Things needed to be done on the hot, sunny days in order to enjoy the harvest later.

You see, my dad was a gardener. What he could do with a small plot of land smack dab in the middle of the city was amazing. I am not a gardener. Green thumbs and dirt under the nails didn’t make it in my genetic makeup. I couldn’t fathom why you would want to work hard for those vegetables when you could go to the nearest supermarket and buy them. I didn’t understand then but I do now.

What I wouldn’t give for another bite of the fruit of his garden. The corn was sweeter. The tomatoes were bigger. The green beans were longer and the zucchinis were massive. There was a difference between the bought and the nurtured – a very big difference and it was more than size or taste. There was a sense of accomplishment knowing your hands together with God’s grace grew a harvest to be enjoyed.

I wish my eyes would have seen what was really unfolding in that dirt field when the seeds were planted. I wish that I had not discounted the work my father was accomplishing and sought the lazy pleasure of a shady porch. I am grateful for the memories of his 6’2” frame bent over his plants. The vision of him in his dirty denim overalls and straw brimmed hat brought horrified embarrassment to a teenage city girl and now brings a warm smile of recollection to a middle aged daughter’s heart. While I was city born and bred, he was Kentucky country through and through.

A good man
A hard working man
A country boy forever

Unfortunately, my dad no longer tills this earthen dirt. He is tending abundant gardens in heaven I am sure. With him is the wealth of when, where and how to plant and tend the tilled and furrowed rows. Gone with him is the hope that I will one day grow a plot of land and harvest a sweet bounty. Yet, the gathering isn’t complete.

My life is a gleaning of the harvest he began. The work of his heart and hands joined with God’s grace has tended the furrowed rows of my heart. The person I am today has been shaped by his example.

He loved the land. He loved his family. He loved his God.

He wasn’t perfect. This side of heaven none of us can claim that title. He was and will always remain my father. Legacy born in dirt; grown in time and lived in life. I am grateful the harvesting continues.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad!






(This picture is from my wedding 26 years ago. Sadly and quite surprisingly, I couldn't find a picture of him in those denim overalls.)

Just Faith

They meet on this dusty road, an unlikely joining of desperation. These two, whose hopelessness is numbered by twelve, are clothed in contrasting garments. She is covered in rags of unclean misery and twelve years of soiled shunning. He is swathed in social stature with twelve years of joy and grace now torn by helpless grief. Here amid the dusty air of life they join, opposites seeking their portion.

Providence confronts faith and two are healed.

A prompt to my spirit to wisely consider what is required.

Like her there will be times when misery meets despair and become unlikely traveling partners. A journey that is much too long. Shredding the hope that covers and leaving one naked and alone.

Like him there will be those times when life is good and in one brief, solitary moment, contentment is ripped from our hand. What was is no longer and we are left grasping the wind.

Yet, Providence speaks in the center this dirty path, “Don’t be afraid. Just have faith.”

Faith

Faith beyond circumstances

Faith beyond reason

Faith borne out of desperate release

Not fear

Just faith

(based on Mark 5: 21-43)

Rerun #3 - Be Still

This was originally posted on my Teacups and Time Blog last January. I have made a few changes. After visiting Without Wax today, I was prompted to share this post again.

Be still and know that I am God.

Psalm 46:10

I have felt a call of late. It is beckoning my very soul into its presence. It asks nothing more of me than to be quiet. It would seem at first glance that I am being asked the impossible.

The frenetic pace of life has infected me with its virus of restless and wandering thoughts. I am tainted, contaminated but thankfully, not terminal.

So, I wait.

In the quiet of my surroundings, I wait. Loudly and impatiently, I wait.

There is a mystery in silence.

Surrender and healing draw near.

**************************************************

Be still and know that I am GOD

You are the Alpha and Omega. All things are created by your hand. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens without your knowledge. Great are you, Lord, and mighty in power. My existence is by your hand. My very breath is whispered from your lips.

Be still and know that I AM

You were before anything was. You are here now. You will forever be. What You are I am not nor will I ever be.

Be still and KNOW

It doesn't come easy. Good things rarely do. Priceless items like wisdom and knowledge are treasures to seek. I know very little, save the fact, I want you Lord - morning, noon, night, inside, out, above, around and below - only to know You.

Be STILL

Quiet me. I create my own clamor. Incessantly, even when I don't want to, I do. Turn my very being away from the outward things and toward you.

BE

Exist in Him.

Exist for Him.

Breathe Him alone.