Deconstructing

What gift are you giving that he did not first give?  What truth are you teaching that he didn't first teach?  You love.  But who loved you first?  You serve.  But who served the most?  What are you doing for God that he could not do alone?

How kind of him to use us.  How wise of us to remember.

- Outlive Your Life...Max Lucado

It is easy to get lost in the doing, when what you are doing is good.  It is a lesson that I am learning as I seek to serve others in the name of Christ. 

Each mission trip taxes the heart, the mind, the body and the soul.  It is a process of pouring out of all that was poured in.  God does not fill us to become bloated and stagnate.  Rather, fresh water - living water - is a continual cleansing flow. 

So, it is imperative that I learn to not to impede the flow by stacking tasks and goals like a dam.  Planning is good but seeking His timing is better.  Setting an objective is important but allowing His intention to change the goal is crucial.  When I get lost in the doing and begin to build the dam, I need time to deconstruct.  To remove the impediments and revive my heart, my mind, my body and my soul.  To restore the flow.

Seeking to "remember" it is Him.  It always was.  It will always be.

© A Sacred Longing 2009-2011

New Doors

I know that my blog has been a bit redundant after the Haiti trip.  Quite honestly, I am ashamed to say it has been a lot like the movie "Groundhog Day".  I was too afraid to move on. 

On Saturday,  I stepped down from any real role on our church's womens ministry leadership team.  It was a humbling departure for I had to admit that I hadn't been pulling my fair share for the last few months.  I was too busy wrestling with God and not wanting to give up something that I have been so involved in for the last 15 or so years (3-4 at this church).  But as I walk away from this with a limp, I know that I have chosen the right thing. 

For much to long, I have been wanting to stay comfortable in what I know rather than stepping out into the waters God was calling me to.

My lack of follow through left me listing like a boat without a paddle or motor.  Disobedience does that.

My lack of follow through caused confusion not only for me but for those around me.  Disobedience does that.

My lack of follow through compounded problems rather solved even one.  Disobedience does that.

My willful disobedience didn't bring about anything of value or lasting promise.

So, Saturday I had to ask forgiveness from my God and from those around me.  Not easy but necessary. 

Necessary for the next step...



© A Sacred Longing 2009-2010

Leaving the Embittered Path

Have you ever been here? A place where you know you shouldn’t be. It is a place where you really don’t want to be but yet, you can’t seem to let it go because it has been a part of you for way too long.

Familiarity doesn’t mean good or right - just familiar.

This has been my place for the last few weeks. I am not proud that I have journeyed here and have chosen to remain.

I know better.

I want better.

My choices, my selfish and arrogant choices, however, indicated otherwise. I have been camping out in my own bitterness. Ignoring the promptings on my heart and instead, feasting on more selfish and bitter root.

God beckons with more urgency and greater intensity. He will not be ignored.

My heart softens and then is broken. He has that power to shatter the concrete shell of bitter discontent and reveal the beating flesh within.

I can no longer ignore His promptings. They are too deafening to disregard. I must respond by leaving this place. Leave it all behind. Nothing that I brought should travel on.

I will admit I find it difficult to leave it all behind. Much of it has kept close comfort. Most has reasoned my bitterness. Without it, I journey on naked and vulnerable.

Yet, I know. It is all or nothing. Leave it all behind or look at nothing different for the destination ahead. A place of forgiveness, I pray.

Where this path will end, I do not know. Its finish is now in the hands of another.

Peace comes in the obedience. I pray for restoration in the destination.

Falling like rain...

Gratitude and humility are overwhelming me. Pouring down upon me much like the incessant rain that is falling outside my window.

I know that long before this earth existed I was on God’s mind. I was and remain an object of His focus. In Him and through Him, all the broken pieces of my life have been made whole and holy. I bow my head in humility for I know that I deserve none of it. While He has never taken His focus from me, my eyes have not held the same gaze. Yet, still, grace and mercy flow…

I know that I have been placed here and now, much like Esther, for such a time as this. I have been given opportunities to live the life of faith that I profess. In Him and through Him I am equipped for the task. He supplies all my needs, all my strength to accomplish the task He has set before me. I fall to my knees in humility knowing I deserve none of this. While He has the task prepared, I have chosen my own endeavors. Yet, still, grace and mercy flow…

I know that I have been loved completely and sacrificially. Loved to such a depth that I cannot fathom where the beginning differs from the ending. I fall to my face in humility knowing I deserve none of this. While He loves me beyond my comprehension, I fail to love beyond my own irritation. Yet, still, grace and mercy flow…

As the raindrop falls freely from the sky, so does this grace and mercy fall from Heaven.

I cannot stop it.

I don’t want to stop it.

Without it my existence would be unbearable.

With it my existence is given new life.


Join in with others for a Thankful Thursday at Truth 4 the Journey and at Lynn's