Unknown and yet...

I was seeing something I had seen before and yet, I had never been in this place. Unknown and at the same time familiar – a sensation that is hard to grasp and much harder to find words to adequately describe but it was and is what I am experiencing.

The sun is the same glowing orb that rises over my home every day.

And there, it too shines brightly.

The wind is fiercely blowing through the trees outside my window. As it passes by me on its never ending journey.

It is much like the breeze that caressed my cheeks on the top of that mountain.

Indescribable creation beyond my borders…

Indescribable yet familiar…

God’s handiwork

Begging to be seen

Hungering to be touched

Longing to be loved

Here

And

There

I am ever grateful for the opportunity I have had to travel to see God's creation.  I am amazed by the beauty and humbled by the abundance that He has given us - color; sounds; heights; depths; smells; animals and above all, His precious people.

My heart continues to be awakened from its slumbering state and amazed by His handiwork.

I continue to recount my meager thanks

- safe travel to and from Guatemala
- the breathless dance at 12,000 feet
- the indelibly marked vision of a little one chasing our bus through the fields
- experiencing it all with my husband by my side
- the opportunity to hold such beauty in my hands
- the grace to pray with these little ones

 

© A Sacred Longing 2009-2010

Fractured...

I am afraid.  I wouldn't be honest if I said otherwise.  However, it is not a fear of my physical safety but rather one of my heart.

A heart that still beats fractured from a small, island experience.

A heart that knows there is more breaking to come.

It is what I have asked for...

"to be broken by the things that breaks His heart"

Still and yet, this weakened vessel knows what lies ahead. 

At this moment, I ponder my gratefulness ...

- suitcases crammed with shoes, books, soccer balls and blankets
- a plane ticket to Guatemala
- the grace of opportunity
- prayers of a church last Sunday
- a heart that still beats fractured

I may be afraid, my precious friends.  But long ago I was told by a friend that the blessing is in "doing it afraid".  There is truth to be milled there.  We have not been called to the safe and the cozy.  For in safety our clay crafted vessels remain intact. 

Intact vessels keep to themselves what was never theirs to keep.  What is poured in is meant to be shared.  It is the broken and fractured vessel that leaks the grace that fills it.

On my way to being shattered.









© A Sacred Longing 2009-2010

Thankful for the Sacred Graces

I wonder sometimes where my thankfulness gets lost.

I start out well with good intentions and then before I know it my thoughts are jumbled and crossed. In the midst of such confusion, my heart soon wearies. I let the weight of the present fall heavy upon me. Under its burden, I miss the grace that longs to be seen.

Simple things...

Sunshine breaking through a cloudy sky

A red-crested woodpecker pounding away on a hard maple tree

Time to gather my thoughts and my words

Friends who are patient even when I am not

Faithful furry friends who stay closer than a shadow

The smell of his cologne that lingers well past his leaving for work

Memories recalled within spaghetti sauce and meatballs

An abundance of shoes waiting for feet

These simple graces are ones that transform moments into memories.

In the seeing I feel the breath of my Creator upon me. His Presence made manifest by a heart begging to bear witness. 

Weary not I pray, of my feeble attempts to be attentive.  Instead join me in counting the graces and giving thanks.

A late edition to "Multitude Monday - One Thousand Gifts", but a start nonetheless. 
 




© A Sacred Longing 2009-2010

One Thousand Gifts...counting on

Like gathering flowers on a spring morning, I continue to enfold the graces given.  To look upon and remember that their amazing abundance should not be missed.

I nearly missed these moments, my friends.  I almost chose not to be there and ever grateful that I didn't.

21. Sunrise on the Chesapeake Bay

22. A precious and holy moment at the start of my day

23. A warm, cozy fire with precious friends

24. A vision of home

25. Catching up on some much needed rest

Ever grateful I am that the recollecting continues.  Grace in the simplest forms should never be missed.

© A Sacred Longing 2009

The counting continues...

It has been a difficult beginning to this year. One might find it even difficult to notice the graces beyond the grief.

Still, when the watching is clouded by life, the graces remain.
Constants in the midst of turmoil.

So as I begin to regroup and gather my life once again, I meet here in this moment to mark the blessings observed.

12. A mother who loved her family, not perfectly, but as completely as she could.

13. The opportunity to say goodbye one last time.

14. Memories caught on paper, recorded in photos and etched forever in our minds.

15. Friends who came, not because they knew her but because they loved us.

16. Tears that empty our souls of the hurt within.

17. A night's rest on a cozy bed under warm blankets on a cold winter night.

18. The prayers of those who venture to my little corner of cyberspace. We've never met and yet we journey a path together.

19. Employers and coworkers who understood and supported us.

20. The peace that comes from knowing our grief is as transient as our lives and one day - it will be no more. One day the joy will come and remain forever!


These moments are necessary, my friends. I pray that you too find time to gather your graces. When the sacred chaos of life overwhelms, purposefully observe. Draw them close. Remember them. In the grasping, you will feel the hand of God.





© A Sacred Longing 2009

One Thousand Gifts - Counting on

This has been a difficult week. Not the usual for such a festive time of the year but nonetheless, it was ours.

We spent the last few days traveling between to mothers - his and mine. One holding on tightly to this side of heaven and the other dreaming soon she will be there, face to face.

We are just plain tired.

We didn't shop. We didn't wrap. We didn't open. We didn't eat in abundance.

We did spend the holiday with two who have loved us most.

We did give what we could - ourselves - to those who wanted nothing more.

At first I confess, I found it hard to be grateful. It was too easy to moan and complain even if most of those words remained in my head. Sadly, that was selfishness within not the Truth all around.

Yet, here in this exercise I am an unwrapping the gift I needed the most.

A grateful heart focused on the Truth not the circumstance.

6. Doctors, nurses and aides who work seven days a week, 24 hours a day and 365 days a year with compassion and professionalism

7. The love of a mother's heart

8. A memory recalled when most are forgotten

9. A hot cup of coffee on a cold winter morning

10. The sweet and savory aromas of a favorite Italian deli triggering a multitude of memories

11. Safe travel to and from Ohio

Miss not on these opportunities, my friends, to recollect your graces. While your eyes may not always see your favors, in a simple act of remembrance grace abounding will be found.

© A Sacred Longing 2009

Student of Grace

Learning to be thankful in all things, so I am and fearfully, so I think I will always be - learning. I am beginning to understand that this side of heaven the splendor is found for me here.

It is in the learning that I come face to face each and every time with grace.

It rarely gets better than that.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more...It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing and mistakes into important events.

Melody Beattie

Grace abounds to those who are thankful. Life and circumstances may not change. Yet, in our thankfulness we see beyond the horizon where grace shines bright.

© A Sacred Longing 2009