I Find My Soul...

In this darkest of night

when my eyes should be heavy in slumber,

sleep does not come.

My mind fumbles awake

with jumbled thoughts and awkward intentions,

restless it wanders.

My heart hungers for touch

in this cold and lonely night,

aching bare and alone.

In this dark and holy moment

when my eyes are heavy

my mind unsettled

my heart broken

I find my soul,

Uncovered

Empty

Waiting

© A Sacred Longing 2009-2010

Twilight Examen

Twilight is falling like a gentle rain. I am not ready for this day’s impending demise because there is much left within me wanting – yet it comes, ready or not.

So, rather than fight the inevitable, I pause to collect my thoughts.

What has this day brought to me? What have I given back to it?
Have those I met been better for our encounter?
What is this day’s greatest blessing?
What is undone...can it remain so for now and maybe forever?
What one thing did I accomplish that brings joy to my heart?
Is there someone I need to make peace with?

Simple questions.
Profound answers.

Within this sacred pause, I am both graced and confronted. Yet, in order to live my life mindfully they must be asked.

For too long, I have toddled along my life’s path from moment to moment missing the holy in the midst of the mundane.

Too often I ventured from the good way because the wrong way looked so right. Those missteps have carried a heavy price.

In these twilight opportunities, we are given opportunity to draw down the shade of this day and wrap ourselves in the great silence of night. Waste not this chance.

Soon, very soon, the grace of another dawn will rise.

O’ Lord, support us all the day long, until the shadows lengthen, and the evening comes, and the busy world is hushed and the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then, Lord, in your mercy grant us safe lodging, and a holy rest, and peace at the last; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
John Henry Newman

© A Sacred Longing 2009

Peace and Quiet -

You have made my soul for Your peace and Your silence, but it is lacerated by the noise of my activity and my desires. My mind is crucified all day by its own hunger for experience, for ideas, for satisfaction. And I do not possess my house in silence.
Thomas Merton

Quiet my soul, Father.

The night shade of this day is creeping ever closer. The softness of sleep calls to my weary and tired body. The wild and frenzied pace of this day has propelled me to this moment. Frenetic thoughts and movements continue to assault me. My home is possessed but not with a holy and sacred silence of the soul.

I try to be quiet. It doesn't work.

Holy Spirit, fall upon me now. Free me from the chains that bind me to the internal, infernal noise.

In the riches of Your holy release, may I sleep in grace filled peace.

Amen.

(This was originally posted on my blog "Teacups and Time" )

A Night's Reprieve

The veil of this day has softly fallen and night has quietly crept in. As the light began a retreat to its resting place, I found myself drawn to the silence of darkness and to its sweet, soothing stillness hanging heavy in the air.

I greet these hours of dimming light with much welcome for it has not been an easy day. I can feel its enveloping solitude permeating my soul. I hunger for this. Right now, I need this. Difficulty has been this day.

Unexpected and unwanted visited me early and stayed well past their welcome. Neither had I greeted with much fondness. Yet, the lack of a warm and welcoming greeting never caused a moment’s hesitation in their appearing or in their staying.

Finally, in this darkness, I find relief.

It calls for release. It demands a letting go of all that called itself today. I gladly relinquish my claim to all the anger, frustration, angst, pride and hurt that invaded my day. I give it all away - what was good and what was not.

Today there was more of not.

Tonight there is a reprieve.

Tomorrow will be a new day.

(Now there is a new blog)