Some I think I should clench securely.
Most things in truth, I shouldn’t.
But I am good – real good - at holding on.
Like the proverbial dog with a bone I grasp tighter, growl louder and run away as fast as I can. Never once do I drop the bone.
Until now…
As I welcome 2011, I have come to an understanding that this year will be a year of RELEASE for me.
A 365 day beginning of a journey towards letting go…
Releasing the things I shouldn’t grasp so tightly – good and bad.
The accumulations of days and experiences last year have brought me here. 2010 was a year of awakening for me. I began to see far beyond the margins of my little world. Yet within its gathering, I realized that what lies beyond is not that far at all. Through Haiti, Guatemala and even here in my own backyard I have had the gift of unwrapping the unfamiliar to expose what I most want – GOD.
It is a realization that leaves me broken in so many ways and yet, like the grand mosaics that grace cathedrals, my broken becomes beautiful.
I have to let go of what I thought was mine.
I have to let go of what I dreamed was to be mine.
I have to let go of what I have grasped so tightly.
I have to untie the things that bind me.
I have to expose the hurt that hides within me and bid it farewell.
I have break up the root of bitterness that has found its place within me and place it aside.
I have to unleash the love, the grace and the mercy that God so abundantly pours out upon me into the lives I come to encounter.
I fear it will not be an easy task – this releasing.
But God…
Pry open my fingers, my heart, my mind and my soul. May I grasp nothing but what You desire for me. May I hold things tangible or not only as tightly as You allow. May I release them as quickly as You bid me. In the letting go may I find the only thing worth grasping...You!
© A Sacred Longing 2009-2010
