Fractured...

I am afraid.  I wouldn't be honest if I said otherwise.  However, it is not a fear of my physical safety but rather one of my heart.

A heart that still beats fractured from a small, island experience.

A heart that knows there is more breaking to come.

It is what I have asked for...

"to be broken by the things that breaks His heart"

Still and yet, this weakened vessel knows what lies ahead. 

At this moment, I ponder my gratefulness ...

- suitcases crammed with shoes, books, soccer balls and blankets
- a plane ticket to Guatemala
- the grace of opportunity
- prayers of a church last Sunday
- a heart that still beats fractured

I may be afraid, my precious friends.  But long ago I was told by a friend that the blessing is in "doing it afraid".  There is truth to be milled there.  We have not been called to the safe and the cozy.  For in safety our clay crafted vessels remain intact. 

Intact vessels keep to themselves what was never theirs to keep.  What is poured in is meant to be shared.  It is the broken and fractured vessel that leaks the grace that fills it.

On my way to being shattered.









© A Sacred Longing 2009-2010