Seeking direction?

© A Sacred Longing 2009-2012

Smallness

It whispers loud within me.  This aching wonder that begs to know if this is it - my life - as it is.   

It doesn't seem right to ask such questions yet now, right now, it echoes like a haunting melody.   

I wonder if Paul would say to me, as he did the Corinthians..."I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life.  We didn't fence you in.  The smallness you feel comes from within you.  Your lives aren't small but you are living them in a small way.”  

Lilliputian living 

Is it wrong to want more?  Is it wrong to feel less? 

No. 

But it is wrong to seek to fill the emptiness with something other than God and His purpose and provision. To do that is like eating cotton candy- yummy in the moment but forgotten fluff in the next. 

The hunger remains. 

It is wrong to hold onto those things long dead.  Things held as tightly as a favorite blanket to a toddler but that do nothing more than bring temporary comfort and hold you tight in its false security. 

The angst still grips. 

And it is no better to stand in the midst of the forest long dead because you are too afraid to venture into the new growth just beyond the dried up limbs. 

The fear holds tight. 

The gift I seek the most is one I have already been given.  It waits unwrapped and opened in its fullness of enough.  

He is everything. 

He is all. 

He is enough. 

And, in Him, so am I.

Enough.

© A Sacred Longing 2009-2012
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Pausing to Count

I am starting this remembering again but this time I will number.  I think that I didn’t before because…well…I knew it wouldn’t be easy.

It isn’t easy to stop and see.  Nor is it easy to remember the smaller things.  Life left to its own devices screams past in a blur and yet in that very statement lays the heart of my problem.

Left to its own…what joy is that? 

Life owns nothing but the One who creates and sustains possesses it all.  The smallest of sparrow, the bud of the flower, the song of the crickets and my very breath are simple gifts of grace in the hand of God.

So, I begin, once again, to still my very self to see, to remember and to count.  I number for my heart.  A heart that pauses to take hold of Grace won’t have room for a life left to its own device. 

1. Early morning quiet

2. A cup of coffee and a good book

3. An early preview of summer's sun

4. A 4-legged companion to a morning jog

5. An unexpected video from a visit with my mom

6. Taxes that are done

7. Clean sheets and soft pillows

8. The opening blooms

9. Bubbles and baths

10. The grace that allows me to begin again

© A Sacred Longing 2009-2012

Seeking my portion

Because of the Lord's faithful love we do not perish,

for His mercies never end.

They are new every morning:  great is Your faithfulness!

I say:  The Lord is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in Him.

Lamentations 3:22-24

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© A Sacred Longing 2009-2012