Friday, March 30, 2012

Smallness



It whispers loud within me.  This aching wonder that begs to know if this is it - my life - as it is.   

It doesn't seem right to ask such questions yet now, right now, it echoes like a haunting melody.   

I wonder if Paul would say to me, as he did the Corinthians..."I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life.  We didn't fence you in.  The smallness you feel comes from within you.  Your lives aren't small but you are living them in a small way.  

Lilliputian living 

Is it wrong to want more?  Is it wrong to feel less? 

No. 

But it is wrong to seek to fill the emptiness with something other than God and His purpose and provision. To do that is like eating cotton candy- yummy in the moment but forgotten fluff in the next. 

The hunger remains. 

It is wrong to hold onto those things long dead.  Things held as tightly as a favorite blanket to a toddler but that do nothing more than bring temporary comfort and hold you tight in its false security. 

The angst still grips. 

And it is no better to stand in the midst of the forest long dead because you are too afraid to venture into the new growth just beyond the dried up limbs. 

The fear holds tight. 

The gift I seek the most is one I have already been given.  It waits unwrapped and opened in its fullness of enough.  

He is everything. 

He is all. 

He is enough. 

And, in Him, so am I.

Enough.


© A Sacred Longing 2009-2012
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3 comments:

  1. Denise,
    I have dropped by a few times, seeking to make a connection... and finding none, I have instead, offered a prayer for you.

    And today, the last day of March, I am happy to find a freshly written post from you - straight from your heart as always. An eloquent expression of where you are in your journey.

    So beautiful, even the picture you have posted.

    Friend, I am walking with you, a silent companion, in this stage of your journey.

    As spring unfolds, it speaks new things into your heart.

    Much love
    Lidia

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    Replies
    1. Lidia,

      Thank you for continuing to stop even when the words are the same. I am praying that soon whatever has kept me so quiet will find its leave. Until then I am grateful for your company on this journey.

      Grace, my friend,
      Denise

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  2. Oh I needed this today...thank you :)

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