Each moment that I am given another breath is an opportunity to make my life count for the glory of God.
I am learning, therefore, that my life is a simple offering of choices. Even those choices that seem inconsequential have an impact of lasting proportion. That fact alone has given much pause to my spirit of late.
I have, for a good while, wanted to live my life in God's will. Yet, what this really meant has been an elusive search.
I had always assumed that bearing children and being a mother would be a part - a very large part - of my life. Are we not called to be fruitful and multiply? Is that not why we women are made and fashioned? When the days, months, years passed by without a pregnancy, doubt settled in. Where was God?
With doubt came an open doorway for fear to enter. Fear that I wasn't who I should be; that I wasn't ever going to have what I wanted; that my life would be insignificant and forgotton. Paralyzed and numbed by fear, I made choices that kept me hidden and irrelevant - the very thing that terrorized me was being fashioned by my very own hands.
So, I hid my search for God's elusive will. My choices were weak and half-hearted because I couldn't see the future. Weak choices - weak life. A wallflower existance in the midst of a garden of opportunity.
I lost sight of my purpose. I lost hope in my desires.
"Our desire to live should be for the sake and the glory of God, who put us on this earth in the first place." - Francis Chan
My hidden time searching for God's elusive will was wasted moments. Misspent and misdirected focus on a future that could never happen. It would never happen because by looking ahead, I missed the now - the foundational moments for what is to come.
My now is a whisper in the wind of my eternity. Yet, it is the point of departure for the future to come. Learning to choose for His glory in all things, small and large, I will be in His will. No need to search anymore. No need to hide anymore.
Live. Live now. Live in the fullness of God's grace and glory.
In doing so, I prepare now for a mission trip. This time tomorrow I will be on an airplane with its final destination in Quito, Ecuador. I pray that I will stand boldy and courageously in the strength of my Lord. I pray that I will be used as a vessel of grace and an ointment of healing balm to those on this surgical mission. I pray that all that I think, say or do will bring glory to the One who inhabits my very being.
(This photo was taken through an operating door in Nicaragua - our last trip)
© A Sacred Longing 2009
Precious Denise, you are on my heart and in my prayers as you prepare to leave for the work of the Kingdom!
ReplyDeleteMay the peace, protection and provision of GOD be with you.
May you go forth with courage in serving the LORD.
May your armor be on tightly and may HE use you to be a blessing to many.
I look forward to hearing more from you.
Much love and prayers dear sister.
Praying for your trip. That you will see the Lord hand in everything you do there.
ReplyDeleteI went to sleep last evening with this Scripture in my heart...
ReplyDelete"Again he said, 'What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? It is like a mustard see, which is the smallest see you plant in the ground. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds of the air can perch in its shade." (Mark 4:30-32).
That is what the kingdom of God looks like... you and me planting some mustard seeds of God's grace in the everyday, which yield a tree that not only serves as a perch for some but also as shade for others.
As you move out into a new country tomorrow, consider the seed, friend. Sow generously, knowing that whatever you plant (regardless of the size) will be watered and tended to by our God who has promised to grow his kingdom accordingly.
Nothing is too small; no act of kindness, word of hope, prayer of belief, touch of grace--all will grow larger because our God is larger.
My mustard seeds of prayers go with you, knowing that even there, something will bloom.
Lots of LOVE to you, Denise. You hold a special place in our Father's heart... and you will be fruitful and multiply over the next week--for the kingdom.
peace~elaine
Prayers for you on your way to Ecuador!
ReplyDelete~ Wendy
I've read a number of your comments on Jennifer's (where I just linked from) and other blogs and thought I'd visit.
ReplyDeleteYou have a very good blog. This post was very good. I'm saddened that often our lives don't turn out the way we had them planned. Then, we find out that God had other intentions for us, all in accordance with his will. So long as we are in his will, we know we are in his care.
Your personal story of finding your life in his will is certainly encouraging to many people. I hope your mission trip is wonderful! God bless. wb
Denise - have been thinking about you today and about your trip.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter Melissa, left today headed to Africa. She just landed in Atlanta and will be boarding for Paris in about 3 hours.
I will pray for you each time I pray for my sweet girl!
Denise,
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you as you set out to minister His mercy, love and grace to those you touch. Remember, to the degree that you receive them from the Lord is the degree you will be able to give it.
And, I am just plain, praying for you!
Christy
I think you need to wake up one morning and look in the mirror, realize that if you sold every part of you, cell by cell on the open market, that you'd be worth like many billions of dollars.
ReplyDeleteChanges your idea of significance doesn't it?
You have a brave and good heart Denice, I will be praying for you also... Hoping to hear from you. Blessings.
ReplyDelete