A Sacred Longing: March 2012

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Friday, March 30, 2012

Smallness

It whispers loud within me. This aching wonder that begs to know if this is it - my life - as it is.

It doesn't seem right to ask such questions yet now, right now, it echoes like a haunting melody.

I wonder if Paul would say to me, as he did the Corinthians..."I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small but you are living them in a small way.”

Lilliputian living

Is it wrong to want more? Is it wrong to feel less?

No.

But it is wrong to seek to fill the emptiness with something other than God and His purpose and provision. To do that is like eating cotton candy- yummy in the moment but forgotten fluff in the next.

The hunger remains.

It is wrong to hold onto those things long dead. Things held as tightly as a favorite blanket to a toddler but that do nothing more than bring temporary comfort and hold you tight in its false security.

The angst still grips.

And it is no better to stand in the midst of the forest long dead because you are too afraid to venture into the new growth just beyond the dried up limbs.

The fear holds tight.

The gift I seek the most is one I have already been given. It waits unwrapped and opened in its fullness of enough.

He is everything.

He is all.

He is enough.

And, in Him, so am I.

Enough.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Pausing to Count

I am starting this remembering again but this time I will number. I think that I didn’t before because…well…I knew it wouldn’t be easy.

It isn’t easy to stop and see. Nor is it easy to remember the smaller things. Life left to its own devices screams past in a blur and yet in that very statement lays the heart of my problem.

Left to its own…what joy is that?

Life owns nothing but the One who creates and sustains possesses it all. The smallest of sparrow, the bud of the flower, the song of the crickets and my very breath are simple gifts of grace in the hand of God.

So, I begin, once again, to still my very self to see, to remember and to count. I number for my heart. A heart that pauses to take hold of Grace won’t have room for a life left to its own device.

1. Early morning quiet

2. A cup of coffee and a good book

3. An early preview of summer's sun

4. A 4-legged companion to a morning jog

5. An unexpected video from a visit with my mom

6. Taxes that are done

7. Clean sheets and soft pillows

8. The opening blooms

9. Bubbles and baths

10. The grace that allows me to begin again

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Seeking my portion

Because of the Lord's faithful love we do not perish,

for His mercies never end.

They are new every morning: great is Your faithfulness!

I say: The Lord is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in Him.

Lamentations 3:22-24

Joining in with:

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

What will you be left with?

When a loved one passes you aren’t left with much – trinkets that mean very little; maybe some money that means even less but the real treasure is found in the memories.

I am grateful that in the last few years we have taken the time to make some memories. The etchings I have on my heart are warm and inviting. Places I can linger long and cherish and for that I am eternally grateful.

There are those who chose less - much less - and for a long time that really bothered me.

Yet now, after years of anger and frustration, I finally realize that it is their loss not mine and truly not even hers. What they are left holding are dusty recollections – years long passed – warped and worn neither cherished nor attended. Forever it will be their shortfall and their legacy.

Be mindful my friends. Death comes to us all.

Cherish the living while they live because this is the making of priceless memories.

Treasure the dying for no greater grace can be found than walking the final steps of a life journey with someone.

Honor the dead for we follow not long after.

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