I Find My Soul...

In this darkest of night

when my eyes should be heavy in slumber,

sleep does not come.

My mind fumbles awake

with jumbled thoughts and awkward intentions,

restless it wanders.

My heart hungers for touch

in this cold and lonely night,

aching bare and alone.

In this dark and holy moment

when my eyes are heavy

my mind unsettled

my heart broken

I find my soul,

Uncovered

Empty

Waiting

© A Sacred Longing 2009-2010

Bear With Me...

As you can tell, I am playing with a new template.  So, over the course of the next few days things will hopefully be changing over here.



© A Sacred Longing 2009-2010

One Thousand Gifts...counting on

Like gathering flowers on a spring morning, I continue to enfold the graces given.  To look upon and remember that their amazing abundance should not be missed.

I nearly missed these moments, my friends.  I almost chose not to be there and ever grateful that I didn't.

21. Sunrise on the Chesapeake Bay

22. A precious and holy moment at the start of my day

23. A warm, cozy fire with precious friends

24. A vision of home

25. Catching up on some much needed rest

Ever grateful I am that the recollecting continues.  Grace in the simplest forms should never be missed.

© A Sacred Longing 2009

Twilight Examen

Twilight is falling like a gentle rain. I am not ready for this day’s impending demise because there is much left within me wanting – yet it comes, ready or not.

So, rather than fight the inevitable, I pause to collect my thoughts.

What has this day brought to me? What have I given back to it?
Have those I met been better for our encounter?
What is this day’s greatest blessing?
What is undone...can it remain so for now and maybe forever?
What one thing did I accomplish that brings joy to my heart?
Is there someone I need to make peace with?

Simple questions.
Profound answers.

Within this sacred pause, I am both graced and confronted. Yet, in order to live my life mindfully they must be asked.

For too long, I have toddled along my life’s path from moment to moment missing the holy in the midst of the mundane.

Too often I ventured from the good way because the wrong way looked so right. Those missteps have carried a heavy price.

In these twilight opportunities, we are given opportunity to draw down the shade of this day and wrap ourselves in the great silence of night. Waste not this chance.

Soon, very soon, the grace of another dawn will rise.

O’ Lord, support us all the day long, until the shadows lengthen, and the evening comes, and the busy world is hushed and the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then, Lord, in your mercy grant us safe lodging, and a holy rest, and peace at the last; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
John Henry Newman

© A Sacred Longing 2009

The counting continues...

It has been a difficult beginning to this year. One might find it even difficult to notice the graces beyond the grief.

Still, when the watching is clouded by life, the graces remain.
Constants in the midst of turmoil.

So as I begin to regroup and gather my life once again, I meet here in this moment to mark the blessings observed.

12. A mother who loved her family, not perfectly, but as completely as she could.

13. The opportunity to say goodbye one last time.

14. Memories caught on paper, recorded in photos and etched forever in our minds.

15. Friends who came, not because they knew her but because they loved us.

16. Tears that empty our souls of the hurt within.

17. A night's rest on a cozy bed under warm blankets on a cold winter night.

18. The prayers of those who venture to my little corner of cyberspace. We've never met and yet we journey a path together.

19. Employers and coworkers who understood and supported us.

20. The peace that comes from knowing our grief is as transient as our lives and one day - it will be no more. One day the joy will come and remain forever!


These moments are necessary, my friends. I pray that you too find time to gather your graces. When the sacred chaos of life overwhelms, purposefully observe. Draw them close. Remember them. In the grasping, you will feel the hand of God.





© A Sacred Longing 2009

Rest In Peace

And I said to the one who stood at the gate of the year, “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the Unknown.” And he replied, “Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”
Minnie Haskins

(my mother-in-law at her first time at the beach EVER -October 2009)

So, this dear friends is where I have been – learning to say goodbye.

My mother-in-law fought valiantly but her body failed her. The doctors, nurses, machines and medicines tried to change the course of fate but it was not to be. On January 6, 2010 with her family bedside, the machines stopped and so did the world, for one brief moment.

Collectively, we have said our goodbyes and shed our tears.

Privately, we are learning that grief lingers in corners and closets. This is not how a new year should begin.

2010
Be kind to me, I pray.
Your beginning has not been welcomed.

I beg of you that the days to come be kinder and gentler.

© A Sacred Longing 2009